Boundaries in families seem complex and everchanging. But, if you observe yourself and your children, you can usually get a sense of whether your boundaries tend to be too loose or too rigid; whether they shift between the two extremes or stay within the healthy balance of firm boundaries that allow age-appropriate communication and power to flow between parents and children. Here are some tips for maintaining healthy boundaries in your family.
- Don't share adult gossip with your kids. The problems of your friends and relatives, adult dating issues, and other types of conversations you would have with adults should stay in adult circles.
- Enjoy shared activities with you child but don't be such a buddy that you lose your authority as the parent.
- Allow your child to share opinions and input on family activities in an atmosphere of shared family goals. At the same time, maintain you parental right to make the final decisions.
- Give your child age-appropriate opportunities to make choices and to build his decision-making skills gradually through childhood.
- Maintain a strong bond between the adults in the family and never draw children into parental arguments and resentments.
- Don't be afraid to assert yourself when you child needs instruction or discipline. Learn and practice strategies to prevent child misbehavior from spiraling out of control.
- Avoid overly harsh or arbitrary rules and discipline practices. Use discipline with dignity that is consistent, fair, and when appropriate, flexible.
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