How To How to Give Effective Instructions to Your Child

Here's How:

1. Stop and decide what you want your child to do.
2. Get the child's attention. Move closer to him or call him to come to you. Make direct eye contact.
3. Tell him what to do directly and firmly. Don't ask, though you may offer a choice if you wish. Don't end your instruction with "OK?"
4. Don't let him sidetrack you with whining, excuses, or arguing. Restate your instructions one more time if necessary then watch to make sure he begins.
5. Praise him when he does the task quickly and well. "You did a good job with those dishes."
6. If he doesn't begin doing what you said or doesn't finish, say: "What did I tell you to do?" When he answers correctly, say, "Good, now do it."
7. If he doesn't do it, then Stop the World. He doesn't do another thing until he does what you told him to do.
8. Decide the consequence you will impose and go to the child to warn him of the consequence.
9. Move closer to him than normal, conversational distance. Make direct prolonged eye contact and tell him the consequence of not doing what you asked.
10. Give him the opportunity to complete the task now. When he does, praise him.
11. If he still doesn't comply, send him to "Siberia" - to his room to cool off while you do the same.
12. Go into his room and tell him that the consequence you stated earlier is now in effect - grounding, no TV, extra chore, removal of privilege.
13. Do not let him return to the family group until he has completed the original task that you gave him.

Tips:

1. Use your facial expression and tone of voice to convey your disapproval if your child does not comply with your instruction in the time frame that you have set.
2. # Don't become distracted so that you overlook compliance or non-compliance. Remember to praise compliance or follow-up on non-compliance.
3. # Remain calm and unemotional when you implement consequences. That is the reason to take a short break while he is in Siberia before you implement the consequences.