Approach/Withdrawal: How does the child handle new and stressful situations?
Approaches 1...2...3...4...5 Withdraws
This is one of the most easily-recognized traits in children from a very young age. Shyness will affect the child's adaptability in many situations at school. It's important for parents to demonstrate their acceptance of the child and to encourage her self-esteem development. Since it is primarily new situations and people that evoke the withdrawal response, the shy child will usually adapt with time, familiarity, and acceptance. A big concern is the development of social skills. You can help your child develop her social skills by providing the opportunity for her to interact with a familiar group of children over a long period of time. Since the classroom composition changes each year, help her to maintain long-term friendships in the neighborhood, church, and community.
- Helping Young Children Overcome Shyness (By John Malouff, Ph.D.)
- Approach Avoidance Trait (Elaine Gibson)
- Eric Digest - The Shy Child
Intensity: How does the child respond to the emotions he feels?
Mild Reaction 1...2...3...4...5 High Intensity
Children vary in their response to emotions. A child who shows a mild reaction to anger, anxiety, fear, and happiness doesn't feel those emotions any less, but his response is less apparent. When the high intensity child becomes angry or fearful everyone knows it, and parents and teachers are, in a way, forced to deal with the child's emotional reactions. This is how the intense reaction can become manipulative. Adults feel compelled to deal with the child by placating or problem-solving for him. Instead, you should encourage the child to deal with his emotions on his own. For example, teach him anger management at a young age and let him know that you expect him to learn to handle his own anger. Think of an intense emotional reaction as a wave. Your child can learn to recognize the initial signs of anger then begin self-talk and calming strategies to minimize the reaction. During the full crest of the wave of anger and fear, he cannot access his rational thought processes. He is too overcome by the more primitive emotional brain. He will need a cool head nearby to guide him through this stage until the wave begins to dissipate and he can talk about what happened and begin to problem-solve.
