What to do if your child has a difficult temperament or a more serious condition that causes him to experience emotional flooding, poor impulse control, and other emotional and behavioral problems.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: 24/7
Here's How:
- Provide many opportunities for active, physical play.
- Find time every day to listen to him talk about something that interests him. Don't jump in with your opinion; just listen!
- Help him find a group where he can feel a sense of belonging - sports team, church group. Let him know he is an important part of your family and community.
- Find an opportunity every day to tell him that you love him. Be a good role model in your patience, support, and listening.
- If you are married present a united front in all of your interactions with the child.
- Have just a few rules but enforce them consistently.
- Avoid arguments and power struggles. The best way to defuse a power struggle is to use active listening.
- Provide short time-outs for misbehavior, 10 minutes maximum.
- Discontinue physical punishment to prevent or break a negative cycle that could lead to abuse, resentment, and feelings of worthlessness.
- Learn new parenting skills and try them out until you find what works for you. Join a parenting support group.
- Establish regular routines and a clear structure for your days. Help him plan for good behavior by discussing upcoming activities, what he will encounter and how to behave.
- For serious behavior problems, begin to seek help for your child at an early age. Diagnoses and interventions that work may take some time.
- Contact a local mental health center or children's hospital for a full assessment of your child, then follow up on their recommendations for therapy, medication, and support for you.
- Keep a folder with all of your child's assessment reports, recommendations, appointments, and important papers. Collect helpful resources related to his condition and keep them in your folder.
- Recognize that extra time and commitment will be required to cope with your difficult child and that you will need opportunities for respite to be an effective parent.
