As with adults, children respond differently to stress depending on their individual personalities and coping skills. Younger grade-schoolers may not be able to fully explain their feelings whereas older kids may be able to say exactly what’s bothering them and why (though that’s no guarantee that they’ll share that information with mom or dad).
Keep an eye out for signs that something is bothering your child. She may complain of stomach aches or headaches. She may insist that nothing’s bothering her but display behavioral changes such as moodiness, a short temper or clinginess. She may develop a nervous habit, such as nail biting. If the problem is with something at school, she may tell you that she doesn’t want to go.
Some Common Causes of Childhood Stress:
Big changes in the family. This can include divorce, moving, or even the birth of a new sibling. These seismic shifts can rock your grade-schooler’s world and turn it upside down. Major life changes can shake your child’s sense of security, and make her feel confused and anxious. A new sibling can make her feel threatened and jealous.
Overly-packed schedule. If your child is constantly running from one activity to another, she may feel stressed, especially if she’s the kind of kid who needs some quiet downtime to herself every once in a while.
Self-inflicted pressure. Many grade-schoolers can experience anxiety about wanting to do well in school. They may want to fit in with other kids and be liked. Self-generated pressure is particularly common in children who are afraid of making mistakes or not being good at something.
Stress caused by something at school. Bullies or cliques can become an issue once kids enter grade-school. Even if she isn’t being bullied, the pressure to fit in and be popular can feel overwhelming for a young child.
How Can You Help?
Don’t dismiss her feelings. Telling her not to worry about her fears may only make her feel like she’s doing something wrong by feeling anxious. Let her know it’s okay to feel bad about something, and encourage her to share her emotions and thoughts.
Listen. You know enormously comforting it can be just to have someone listen when something’s bothering you. Do the same thing for your child. If she doesn’t feel like talking, let her know you are there for her. Just be by her side and remind her that you love her and support her.
Offer comfort and distraction. Try to do something she enjoys, like playing a favorite game or cuddling in your lap and having you read to her, just as you did when she was younger. When the chips are down, even a 10-year-old will appreciate a good dose of parent TLC.
Get her outside. Exercise can boost mood, so get her moving. Even if it’s just for a walk around the block, fresh air and physical activity may be just what she needs to lift her spirits and give her a new perspective on things.
Stick to routines. Balance out any changes by trying to maintain as much of her regular routine as possible. Try to stick to her regular bedtime and mealtimes, if possible.
Keep her healthy. Make sure she’s eating right and getting enough sleep. Not getting enough rest or eating nutritious meals at regular intervals can contribute to your child’s stress. If she feels good, she’ll be better equipped to work through whatever is bothering her.
