For you, saying no may be the equivalent of learning a foreign language. These starter steps will help hone your ability to say no and get more comfortable using the word in your everyday life. You don’t have to an ever-accommodating yes-person to be loved, respected, and admired.
- Make a list of your yeses over the period of a week. If you’re an inveterate yes-person, the number will shock you. The acceptable number will be different for everyone. The real gauge is how pressured, tight for time, or resentful you feel.
- Pay attention to how you parcel out your time. When time is well-managed, you’ll keep some in reserve for what’s most important to you.
- Get your priorities straight. Who has the first crack at you without you feeling burdened or anxious?
- Know your limits—start to define them if you don’t know what they are. To stay healthy your body and mind require rest to rejuvenate, and if you don’t set limits, you won’t get it.
- Give control to others to ease your responsibilities. Eliminating the need to run things yourself to be sure they turn out the way you like them relieves much of the pressure you put on yourself.
For more on how to say NO to your children, friends, family and at work, see: www.thebookofno.com
First > Learning to Say No: Are You a Yes Mom?
*Adapted from The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say It—and Mean It—and Stop People-Pleasing Forever by Susan Newman, Ph.D.
Susan Newman, Ph.D., is a social psychologist and author of The Book of NO (McGraw-Hill, Dec. 2005), Parenting an Only Child, The Joys and Challenges of Raising Your One and Only (Broadway/Doubleday), and Little Things Long Remembered: Making Your Children Feel Special Every Day (Random House/Crown), among others. See: www.susannewmanphd.com
