Magic Carpet
With fanfare and a flourish lay a small blanket over the bed then tuck it in just so. You can use one of your child's baby blankets or his favorite small quilt. Say, "We're on the magic carpet. Where are we going tonight?:" If your child doesn't have any ideas, suggest a visit to Aunt Betty or a trip to Arizona. Talk about what you might see and do wherever you "go" each night.
In riding the magic carpet you can present a larger world to a child, talk about the weather, the vegetation, the art, the culture, the activities found in the area your child chooses. If he decides to take a Magic Carpet ride to visit a relative, you have a chance to let him know what is special about that relative and in that way keep distant relatives close.
Be Thankful
Tell me two or three things you are thankful for today.
Parents may want to start: I'm thankful for the extra time your teacher spent with you and for your help clearing the table. Younger children might be thankful for the dog, a visit from Grandma, two turns on the slide, but as children get older their comments will be more sophisticated. "Things to be thankful for" fosters gratitude and appreciation in children.
Kelley Has a Little Bear
Create a family song to a familiar tune that includes your child's name or family members near and far to sing at bedtime. Here's a start to the tune of "Mary had a Little Lamb:"
Kelley has a little bear, little bear, little bear,
Kelley had a little bear,
it's fur is brown as dirt.
She carries Spark to bed each night,
to bed each night, to bed each night.
Everywhere that Kelley went,
Kelley went, Kelley went,
Spark was sure to go.
She carries him to bed each night,
To bed each night, to bed each night,
that's not against the rules.
Spark makes Kelley laugh and play,
Laugh and play, laugh and play...
Animal Tuck-ins
Spread a small blanket the end of your child's bed and let him tuck in Barnekee, Spot and Bandit saying "good night, sleep tight" in turn to each special stuffed animal. You then say, "your turn, I love you" and tuck in your child with an extra long hug.
Goodnight, Grandma
A ritual offering the chance to keep relatives and the important people in your child's life prominent. Beyond grandma and grandpa, include cousins, aunts and uncles, best friends and favored teachers or instructors. Include those special stuffed animals, too, if your child asks. On successive nights, you can ask your child if she would like to add someone-a baby cousin, a new friend, perhaps?
Nite, Nite
At the end of the day top off your rituals with a designer kiss. Two pecks on the forehead, one on the nose and one on the head, for example, underscores how special your child is to you.
Think of bedtime exchanges as warm deposits in your child's memory bank. Anyone of these rituals starts a tradition your child will undoubtedly pass along to his or her children.
For more ideas on starting traditions with your children, see Little Things Long Remembered:Making Your Children Feel Special Every Day Or visit Susan at her website: http://www.susannewmanphd.com/
Social psychologist Susan Newman, Ph.D. specializes in issues that affect family life. She teaches at Rutgers University in New Jersey, and is the author of thirteen books, including the popular, Little Things Mean A Lot: Creating Happy Memories with Your Grandchildren, Parenting an Only Child: The Joys and Challenges of Raising Your One and Only, and most recently, The Book of NO: 250 Ways to Say It--and Mean It and Stop People-pleasing Forever (McGraw-Hill, Dec. 2005), and Nobody's Baby Now: Reinventing Your Adult Relationship with Your Mother and Father. She is a member of the American Psychological Association and available for workshops on parenting and family relations issues. For more information on Susan and her work visit her website: http://www.susannewmanphd.com/
