Discipline
Nine is easily disciplined, but becomes extremely upset if he feels that a consequence is unfair. Fairness is of utmost importance to the nine year old, and he will respond willingly when he perceives that justice and fairness are being considered. Though she is not very responsible about performing routine tasks, she is willing to stop what she is doing to respond to a request from her parents. She especially loves to be sent on an errand, or to help with cooking a meal. In great contrast to eight, nine is not highly motivated by money or rewards. He begins to gain his satisfaction from a sense of reponsibility within the family. Behavioral management strategies of isolation, removal of privileges, warnings, and second chances all work well with the nine year old, who naturally wants to be good. He accepts his punishment gracefully if it is not accompanied by shaming, yelling, or extreme criticism.
For the most part, nine is anxious to please parents, teachers, and peers. She wants to be liked and exhibits the behaviors and traits that are approved of by the important people in her life. She may be heard making self-disparaging remarks which illuminate a strong sense of anxiety at this age.
The nine year old is easily redirected when he exhibits negative emotions or bad behavior. When he becomes upset, it is usually at himself, as he is sensitive to criticism and easily embarrassed. Because this a period of emotional integration, some emotional swings are still seen. Overall, he is able to overcome negative emotions quickly. He has a strong desire to please, but occasionally takes an "I don't care" attitude. He still experiences anger, fear, and anxiety but they are generally short-lived, and he is his new even-tempered self again.
Nine is very much concerned with the demands and constraints of time and space. Her day is full of places to be and tasks to be accomplished and she is concerned with the time allotted for each activity. She plans her day, knowing what must be done and when, and often feels pressure to meet the demands of doing all that must be done in a certain amount of time. Nine generally responds to this time pressure by working hard, but with her tendency toward anxiety, wise parents may take the initiative to limit some of her activities. Parents may also teach the nine-year old to take one thing at a time and finish it to encourage a sense of accomplishment and mastery.
Next > The Nine-Year Old - Beginning Fourth Grade
Child Development - The Nine-Year Old
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