A good friend shared a funny story about taking a new approach to an annoying behavior pattern her son had developed. He had a new haircut, and was refusing to go to school because he looked stupid and ugly. Having heard this pity party one too many times, she just said, "You are ugly. You were so ugly when you were little that I had to tie a pork chop around your neck to get the dog to play with you." He stared open-mouthed and giggled. "How could a person as beautiful and smart and popular as me have a son as ugly as you are?" she went on, unmercifully teasing him. He laughed and got mad at her and told her to stop acting weird. Later that evening he crawled into his parents' bed, watched a little TV, and said, "I am kind of cute, aren't I?"
Reverse psychology, we hear it called, not something you would apply in your everyday interaction with your child. In fact, my friend tried it because after telling her son, "No you're not, you're very handsome" so many times, he no longer heard her. He would argue endlessly with her that he was ugly (or stupid, or some other self put-down), no matter what she said.
The power in the approach was to try something new because what she was doing was not working. When a childhood behavioral problem becomes habitual, we tend to escalate the tactics we've been using. But the solution often lies in simply trying something new!
The following are some quick ideas for breaking through the cycle of a parenting or discipline dilemma. The secret to deciding if you are in a ineffective cycle of behavior with your child is to assess your own feeling of frustration. Have you had it?! See if any of these quick fixes can be put to use to bring about an improvement in the situation. When it does, reinforce the new behavior with lots of praise for your child and a well-deserved pat on the back for your parenting savvy.
Next > Quick Strategies for Improving Child Discipline
More of this Feature
Child Discipline Series Introduction
Quick Strategies for Improving Child Discipline
