Did you hear about the flight attendant who took a baby from her mother after the mom slapped her child? According to reports, the flight attendant and fellow passengers witnessed a mom striking her crying 13-month-old baby. The other passengers complained, and the flight attendant removed the child from the parents.
Reports say the infant was checked out by paramedics after the flight landed and the baby was returned to her parents after aviation authorities interviewed everyone involved including all witnesses.
I can't tell you how many times I've been tempted to step in when I've seen what I would call borderline abusive parenting. Once, I witnessed a small boy crying in a movie theater because he was terrified during an R-rated horror movie. The mother told her little boy, who didn't look any older than 3 or 4, to shut up because she couldn't hear. I was sorely tempted to give that woman a piece of my mind but I didn't, and I still think about how many more times that little boy was dragged to horror movies and received no comfort when he was scared.
In another instance, I grabbed an acquaintance's 14-month-old daughter because she began slapping her baby for accidentally doing something that wasn't dangerous and only caused the mom a tiny, minor inconvenience. I tried to talk to that mom about different ways to handle her stress but I'm not sure how much of it got through.
I hug my child tight when I see such sad things that weigh down my heart. I don't always step in when I see something because I think it probably won't do any good. I know every parent has lost it at some point, but there are some behaviors that simply cross the line from disciplining to lashing out in anger (or amount to abuse and neglect).
How do you handle situations such as these? When do you step in and when do you leave it alone?
Leave that Mom alone!! Tha’s an example of the problem with our society going soft. We do need a parent University and child development built into the standard primary education. Excepting parenting differences is part of learning tolerance in our culture. So I say, don’t judge others.
After exiting a movie theater halfway through a movie rated r which I thought had too much violence for me , right behind me a mother is escorting her 5-6 yr old out and promtly picks up the child and tells the child to stay out in the hallway (all the while child is quitley crying) and then slams the child to the ground on their butt ! The she proceeds to march back into the movie leaving the child alone !!! I tried to stay out of it I go to the bathroom and I walk out and the mother is shaking the child telling him to shut up.. Could not let it go I walked up to her and calmly mention leaving a child alone could get them stolen and the women told me to mind my own business.. Then I could not help myself I started getting angry and told the women I would report her and that she has no right to that child. I reported her , but the problem with that is that I don’t know what happened after that , mmore importantly to the child. And to the last comment , does as child learn by violence ?
It’s a bit much to slap a 13 month old. That is too young. And, the movie thing, that’s just wrong. But that’s my opinion and why is my opinion supposed to rule these people’s lives? What if the next person tells me that children should do as they wish and scream and yell and demand toys at the store? What if they think time outs and being told NO are just wrong. That all children should cherished and given everything they wish in life. Do they get to step in and over rule me? Where does it stop? I think over indulgent parents who do not teach their children manners are harming their children in the long run. Can I go up, grab the brat and put him in time out while telling the parent to butt out? This is SUPPOSED to be a free country. And, in a free country, people get to do and say things others don’t like. At the rate we are going, I cannot be trusted to feed myself because we are getting too fat. I cannot be trusted to raise my children but everyone else gets a say. We might as well all live prison style where the govt can determine how we really should live for our benefit.
Katherine, you did the right thing when you intervened. And you tried to enlighten her. The flight attendant also did the right thing. I too have witnessed abuses countless times and do nothing. It leaves us with a horrible feeling, doesn’t it? We need to intervene more, and if collectively we stick together to send the message that slapping children is wrong, maybe it will stop. The parents of the child on the plane will think twice before doing it again. Thanks for your thoughtful blog.
The trouble with the comments that implore people to stay out of the equation is that the implication is that parents can treat children however they see fit, even to the point of abuse. However, children are not property. The reason that others sometimes chime in is that children belong to the world, and the way they are treated will affect how they treat others later.
Children and animals cannot advocate for themselves. That is why there are laws to protect them.
I realize that different parents have different approaches (and I myself have children). Some things are fuzzy, but when it comes to rough treatment/abuse (physical or emotional), people react.
I work with children everyday and I don’t do the things I just read about being done to children. I was a child with a very abusive step father. I now would never allow another adult to do things I seen done to my siblings or things done to me. I have a right to let someone know how I feel about what they are doing and I would.
I couldn’t sit and watch someone slap a child who is unable to even try to defend themselves. Someone needed to stand up for that child. I think the attendant did the right thing. Congrats to her for having the courage to help a child in need.
people who hit kids don’t get to go to heaven. they end up best friends and sharing digs with the excorsists mother….13 months old? 4years old? try 21 years old and they might tap you back. Also men who hit women the pearly gates are closed to you i’m sorry doesn’t cut it upstairs although it seems to work with women who get beat up regularly by the same person. pedophiles,politicians lawyers and dentists don’t go to heaven either and suicide bombers as well unless the go to several thousand different ones all at the same time……
I agree that the 13 month old child is too young to be slapped. In this case, intervention was required. I wonder how old are the parents on the plane and if they were treated the same way. However, I do not want any one intervening with me when I need to discipline my child who is 8 years old. Spanking is my last resort after verbal reprimands, time out and TV and videos games being taking away. However, I do not spank in public. There is a time and place for everything including spanking. We are suppose to be a God fearing nation. God’s word does say” spare the rod, spoil the child.”
You may not necessarily be judging the mom but helping her. Sometimes people become so stressed and lose control. I had a very difficult toddler and had to put her in her room and close the door so I wouldn’t lose control. Luckily, I was in control to do that but some people aren’t. So don’t be afraid to intervene, you may be helping the mom too.
The movie thing is another story. That is just pure child abuse.
you should have stepped in !! i see that stuff all the time ): sooo sad how society is now.
“”"I hug my child tight when I see such sad things that weigh down my heart. I don’t always step in when I see something because I think it probably won’t do any good.”"”
Exactly the same what I did when I saw a mother pushing her child down angrily because the child stepped on her way accidentally and they both fell down!!! such a simple thing which the mom could have handled with humor!! My son was shocked to see the mother’s behaviour and I had to explain him that some mothers go mad sometimes but not always; she definitely loves her child and the child would have been hugged after few mins!!
i think people need to mind there own business because i wouldnt want my kids turning out like the people i see today. Not saying its okay to beat your children, BUT people should let parents handle there kids on there own, and worry about there own. Cause were not the one who has to pay the bills for that kid that got slapped on the plane.
I think that a kind word that breaks up the stressful situation can be helpful. I think people should intervene when they see cruelty to someone innocent and unable to defend or protect themselves.
I also think that because we aren’t taught how to be parents and there isn’t a license you have to get before you can have a child and no one makes you take any courses on Managing Stress and/or Or What to Expect After Junior Arrives we need to see people in general as needing a little assistance. Offering to hold the baby or child or if not the child a bag or two or getting something out of the bag like a pacifier could break up the immediate pressure valve.
Not always but people can become immediately unaware of others when they become stressed or they are so aware of what everyone else might think they are thing to hush their baby. Unfortunate but true.
(This isn’t going to work with all parents because their are lots of people who just shouldn’t have kids but I’d rather intervene than wonder what would have happened if I didn’t)
Tough choice!
Children are our future and we teach them how to treat others. We also teach them quickly that I’ve got your back and I will protect you or you’re on your own kiddo. I hope it’s not the latter but Life lessons can be Hard Knox!
Kudos to all those who step in when they see the need but always be cautious…because kids need to respect their parents and kids will use the law against their parents and that undermines the parents authority and does an awful lot of damage to the relationship.