Harry Potter and Your Grade-Schooler
Do you go with your gut or follow the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America) ratings system when it comes to movies you okay for your grade-schooler? I’m facing this interesting dilemma in my household as the hype builds for the latest Harry Potter movie, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, which is rated PG for some violence, language and mild sensuality.
My son turned 8 recently, and he has been immersed in the Harry Potter series. He’s now just started book 6, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Many of his friends have already read all the books, and have also seen the movies. But I’ve held off on the films for two reasons: One, my child tends to get very upset when he sees violent or emotionally-wrenching scenes (I haven’t shown him Bambi yet because I don’t want to have to deal with the emotional fallout that I know would come once Bambi’s mother is shot). And two, I’ve always gone with mother’s intuition about what’s best for my child rather than follow what other parents were doing.
I don’t always go strictly by the MPAA rating. I nixed The Dark Knight (a movie many of my son’s friends have seen in the theaters or DVD), but I did let him see most of Iron Man (I skipped over the scarier scenes, such as when Tony Stark is held by terrorists or when a group of civilians, including kids, are threatened). I read helpful reviews for parents such as the ones from Carey Bryson, About.com’s guide to kids’ movies and TV. And then I make a decision on a movie-by-movie basis.
So while Sam’s 8-year-old peers are flocking to see the latest Transformers installment and are gearing up for the next Harry Potter movie, we are sticking to the movies like Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. There will be plenty of years ahead when he sees violence and gore on the screen. I’m glad he’s sensitive, and I don’t see any reason to rush things for my young child.
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Comments
I haven’t let my kids see “R” rated movies at all yet, but I’ve allowed them to watch PG-13 movies on occasion. Sometimes it turns out fine, and other times I’m later kicking myself for it. For example, my son, who is 10, was upset by the resuscitation scene in the new Transformers movie, and I was caught of guard by the sexual references in Marley & Me, which I don’t think my 6-year-old was ready for.
R movies are still out, but PG-13 is OK as long as I know what content might be objectionable. I also take the time to talk to my kids about what they see, and what they think about what they’ve seen.
“R” movies are out for my seven-and-a-half year old, and will be for a long time. With “PG” movies, I use my judgment and I almost always preview them first.
My son and I are deep into reading the HP books and seeing the movies (the rule is he can see a movie after we read the book together), and I watch my son and gauge his reactions constantly. I’ve read all the books and movies (because I love HP), so I know what’s coming and I try to have talks with him ahead of time. So far he’s been able to handle the scary/violent parts, and the romantic issues–well, let’s just say those are all going right over his head for now.
I should point out that I am generally very strict about exposing my kids to violence: they watch less TV than almost any kids I know, they can’t play with toy guns, etc. (not that that stops my son from turning lots of innocuous toys into weapons). Also, this is very child-specific: my four-year-old daughter is so easily scared that I haven’t brought her into a movie theater to watch anything at all yet. Dora is about as much as she can handle.
I’m still traumatized from the scene in E.T. where he dies. I was old enough to see that movie when it came out but it was still difficult to watch, even though he came back to life.
My biggest issue is when the TV or movie ratings show PG or PG-13 but the references within the movie/show are so blatantly for adults. It’s getting to the point you have to watch a cartoon before your children just to make sure the line hasn’t been crossed!
Here’s my thing. I know my kids very well as mother mothers do with little ones that aren’t adolescent or right on the edge of adolescence. I allow my kids to see movies they want to see AFTER I see them first. With some exceptions. I saw Dark Knight first but knew all three of my kids (7, 8, and 12) could handle it. They’ll see Transformers in the theater because I’ve done well in teaching my kids movies aren’t real. Not that others haven’t, but some kids are more susceptible to not being able to differentiate the two worlds. I will probably take my kids to see the new Harry Potter simply because they’ve either read it or I’ve read it to them and they know full well what happens. I’ve also shown them the making of and after interviews so they understand no one truly dies in the movie.
I say go with your “Mom intuition” based on what’s best for your own kids and leave the rest to well, the rest.
As weird as this may sound, I often used to let my son decide whether he wanted to see a movie or not. He was very sensitive and easily offended, so I would tell him what was objectionable in the movie and he would decide if he wanted to see it. Believe it or not, he often said “no.” However, I usually nixed movies with sexual overtones.
I think moms know their kids and how they will be affected by what they see.
I watch most movies – ‘PG’ and up ( they do NOT watch ‘R’ rated movies, then again my oldest is 9) BEFORE deciding to allow my children to watch. We go to a website to read the reviews as well… http://www.Parentpreviews.com has helped us to make good decisions as to what our children see. We also take the oppertunity to discuss some of the ‘controversial’ topics that may be suggested in movies… My children will NOT be seeing movies like ‘Transformers’ b/c they can NOT handle it – too life like for my children. They do however watch ‘Powerpuff Girls’ – a PG13 movie, it’s not lifelike and all 3 of my children can handle it. For me, it depends on the movie and when in doubt the answer is I need to watch it first. They know this, and accept this. It depends on the family what’s appropriate and what isn’t.
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is PG, not PG-13 and it’s apparently much ‘lighter’ than the last one. Dunno how they’re going to handle the whole Dumbledore thing, but the fact that it’s PG.
I rarely use the rating. I usually find out what the movie is about before hand and then we watch the movie together, usually on DVD. We’re not the type of family who has to be the first to do everything. Thank goodness my kids are not into what is the latest thing, but I’m more grateful that it doesn’t effect them when their friends are.
My son is 7 and we only watch “G” rated movies. If they are not good for him then they do not belong in our home. As far as Harry Potter, I do not allow any magic in our home when it is portrayed as good, for it is an abomination unto GOD.
I think there is a big difference between Bambi and the Dark Knight.
Being present with children to help them learn to process the inevitable pains of life is a good thing, in my opinion. Too often we try to shelter them from pain, which leads to children that grow into adults that expect only good things to happen in my experience as a hospital chaplain rather than teaching children how to process the full range of emotion.
Over-exposure to hyped-up violence like the Dark-Knight or some scenes in Harry Potter is different– it reinforces the idea that violence by “good guys” can solve violence by “bad guys.”
I try not to teach that to my 7 and 9 year old, but when it does come up in movies I allow them to see I make sure we talk about it explicitly. I think that’s the most important thing for me– making sure we talk about whatever we see together so that they aren’t left to process it alone.
r movies are definatly out of the question but pg 13 are ok somethines. sounds strange but i have to see a movie before allowing it for my child.